Our sick boy

Well it's 11:20pm here (way past my bedtime!!) and I'm running on 6 hrs of sleep from last night (also way under my required sleep!) so we are about to discover if i really should have stayed off the blog. I am currently counting down the time to give Benjamin his next breathing treatment, at midnight, so I thought I would update the blog. No pictures, just a status update. Benjamin is sick (bronchiolitis & asthma it looks like) and is having the hardest time breathing. We got to take him to urgent care today where they stuck him on a machine and gave him a nice big shot of steroids. The 2 20 min episodes of the 'face mask' breathing were torture - I think on me the most! I know Benjamin will not remember us pinning him to keep from moving while I held the mask on his face, but I won't forget the tears streaming down his face as he stared at me bawling. But yet - there was definitely a silver lining to that dark cloud. After each treatment we could see and hear him breathe just a little bit easier and then partially due to being 'let go' and the side effects of the drugs, he would become an extremely goofy/funny child just grinning at us and making us laugh. We were told that some children get tired after a treatment, others hyper. Ours definitely took the hyper route (surprise, surprise). Unfortunately the treatment wasn't as effective as they hoped so we now own our own breathing machine. We get to repeat the treatment every 4 hours for the next 48 hours and then slowly increase the time interval for the next week. I also get to spend the next 2 nights sleeping right outside of Benjamin's open door making sure he keeps breathing. I never knew how peaceful and relaxing it could be to just listen to a child's breath go in & out. I know I should be sleeping while he sleeps, and I'm hoping I will during the next sleep interval, but this one I just wanted to hear him breathe. And then when the urge to go in and hold him got too strong, I came in here to write so that at least he could get his sleep. My son isn't 1 of those that will sleep in my arms. He prefers to make faces at me or try to tickle :) Plus I'll be waking him up in 30 mins anyway so that Sam can pin his arms, and hold his head still while I watch him cry & scream and hold the face mask on so that he breathes in his medicine. But AFTER that, we will laugh and he will cuddle, and life will be just perfect.